Transcript
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This is Dr.
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Patient, a podcast that examines all the aspects of the patient provider relationship. I'm your host, Heather Johnston, MD, a real life doctor and patient.
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Guys, I'm breaking up with my hospital. I live in Chicago, where there are a few major academic medical centers. If you don't know what that is, it's a hospital that's affiliated with a medical school. So there's lots of trainees, including medical students, residents and fellows. To understand who all of those people are, please listen to last season's short take called Who's Who in the Hospital. I've long believed that these are generally good places to receive health care.
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The doctors that work there have to have a really good understanding of what they're doing, and have to stay pretty updated on things since they have to teach it to the youngers. As a side note, my Dad, a general internist, who passed away a few years ago, always used to tell me that you don't really understand something until you can explain it to someone of any education level, including a child. And I always thought he was really right about that. Anyway, I've been receiving my health care at one of these places here in Chicago for decades, and I've become more and more disillusioned with them in recent years. So I've decided to break up with them and see someone else. I actually like and respect the doctors that I see there. And up until now, that's been enough. But it's the stuff in between them and me that's driving me nuts. It's the impossible hoops I have to jump through just to talk to my doctor when I'm not face to face in a visit. It feels like they have a 10 foot fence up around them most of the time. It's the ridiculous wait times often months and months, which I'm being given by the front desk person who has zero understanding whatsoever about the urgency of the problem I'm calling about. It's the way that they very obviously pour their money into unimportant things like fancy lobby furniture, and not enough into things like hiring more doctors so that the wait times go down.
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Lastly, I had a huge medical error there a few years ago. You can hear about that, and last season's episode eight called medical errors. Why didn't I leave after that you might ask?
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Great question. Well, I left the department that was involved after that, but I figured the rest of the place was still worth it. It's a really tough decision to be honest. The place is convenient for me to get to.
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It might seem a minor point, but I've had a lot of health problems. So I'm there quite a bit and driving further away is annoying. But I have finally come to my senses that it's worth it for a better experience. Please note that I did not say better care. I'm not convinced that the doctors at one place are generally better than another. On that point, I actually think it's pretty specific to the person. There are probably doctors that would score at every level of a five point scale at every place. So I didn't say better care. I said better experience. Because as a patient these days, I have to work harder than I used to. I have to work harder than the generations before me. Because today's healthcare system is ridiculously annoyingly complex.
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I happen to be an expert navigator. I know who to call, what to say, how to say it to get what I need. But I'm getting so tired of having to do that so much with this one place. Will it be different somewhere else?
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I honestly don't know. But I have to see what else is out there for my mental sanity sake.
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So I'm breaking up with them.
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Yes, I could walk away quietly and they probably would not notice nor would they likely give one s-h-i-t. But instead, I've decided to make it official and out of respect. Let them know. And I'm going to share it with you. Here to read my big hospital breakup letter is Chicago actress Rachel Sullivan.
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Dear big Hospital in Chicago. I'm sorry to do this in writing. I know it's sort of lame, but it's time for me to face the feeling I've been having for some time now that well, that our relationship has finally reached its breaking point. When we were first together, it felt like bliss.
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Sure, I was sick but we hit it off right away. And you gave me
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support, attention, care. I felt understood, heard, respected.
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These days, you don't even seem to be remotely aware that I even exist. You're taking me for granted. Thinking that my patience, my loyalty and my trust in you will always be there. But you don't seem to care enough to even have noticed that it's dwindling. For a long while now it has felt like it's all about you. When I need you, you aren't there. When I call, you don't pick up I leave you messages and you have other people call me back on your behalf. What's that about?
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You're so busy, I feel like I practically have to wait in line just to see you. When you've made a mistake, you don't admit it. And I hate to say it, but it increasingly feels like our relationship has become purely transactional. It's as if you don't care about who I am as a person, you're just seeing me for my money. I've put a lot of time and energy into this relationship and it feels one sided. Sometimes I think you're trying to make me forget about our problems by giving me fancy things like pretty gowns, and fancy furniture, the latest technology and a slick app to keep in touch. But, the everyday things I need in this relationship simply aren't there: dependability, accountability, availability, communication, and most importantly, trust. I don't trust you anymore. I've tried many times to tell you my feelings just to bridge this growing gap between us. But it seems as though all of my efforts have fallen on deaf ears. Well, that is when I can even get a hold of you in the first place. When I point out your flaws, you get defensive and sometimes you even get lawyers involved. It's as if your reputation is more important than my well being.
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You've grown overconfident and seem to think that you're bigger and better than everyone else but you are not. You're so full of yourself that you can't even see what you've lost sight of - why you got into this in the first place. It has now become painfully clear that the connection we once shared has faded. I need a partner who makes my well being their priority. And who doesn't constantly leave me feeling disappointed. And like I'm all alone in this journey. I think it's taken me this long to leave you because I've been scared of what my life might look like without you. But I've also come to realize that there are actually other fish in the sea who can give me what I need. And in the end, you probably won't even notice that I'm gone. So this is it. Thanks for the good years we had together. As for the bad ones. I hope you can find it within yourself to look in the mirror and find that caring, attentive, trustworthy version of yourself that you once were. Sincerely, Heather.
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Thanks for listening today. To catch up on more episodes and to get new ones delivered directly to you.
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Subscribe wherever you find your podcasts, Apple, Google, Spotify, iHeartRadio and more.
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If you'd like to be a guest or have an idea for an episode, let me know at www.drpatientpodcast.com That's DrPatientpodcast.com.
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Here's the disclaimer. Even though I am a doctor, I'm not your doctor. These stories, my comments and all discussion is purely reflection about what's working in the healthcare system and what isn't. Don't use any medical information that you hear in these episodes to diagnose or treat yourself. If you have a question about your health, get in touch with your doctor or local health clinic
